Man, God is so powerful. I was listening to one of Pastor Jacob's sermons while I was running, and seriously, I am convicted once again by the Holy Spirit. Just from Geth this past Friday, God has really revealed to me just how selfish I was this whole week, in terms of my rationalization and thinking. I think too much about myself and my own happiness, and not about others'... And I did not nearly take enough time thinking and praying over my soonwons. The whole time this past week when I was thinking about myself, I could've spent that time and energy praying for my soonwons. Man is so selfish... we naturally resort back to our own sinful ways of thinking about only ourselves -__-
"What are your 'onlys'?" Pastor Jacob asks in his sermon, "The Test of Faith." According to Pastor Jacob, we always tell ourselves, "If we only have this, then we'll be happy," and that is SO true. I'm always saying to myself, once I get this, then I will be satisfied. NOPE. We are sinful beings, and we'll never be satisfied fully by the things of this world. Only God can give us that ultimate satisfaction.
Too often, my "onlys" become the idols of my life; they replace God from the center of my heart. My discipline in pursuing God, I admit, has been more lax since last week, and now I am convicted once again to become firm in His word once again. God is so powerful and faithful to His promises and callings. I looked at my mission journals this morning, and it's so evident and clear how God has transformed my heart. It's really crazy how He matured me so much, and I have yet to grow. It's a never-ending relationship with God =)
By faith, I will persevere. By faith, I will follow. By faith, I need to drop all my own plans and trust in His.