Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hide me now, Under Your wings

Again, with the whole boundaries issues-- not even just about being too nice and people taking advantage of that, but about simple respect too. I feel like there's no respect being given to me when I see the way people act towards me sometimes. I'm starting to develop this... bitterness... well not bitterness, but like, begrudging heart, instead of one that is loving and giving. When people respect my boundaries, I feel more free to do everything, but not when they're being ignored... Geez. 

It's hard to really let go and let God, but in a way, I think this struggle is also a blessing because we all know that suffering allows you to grow. I need to learn to be a more cheerful giver and to not take so much ownership of my possessions. I need to learn to confront and discuss things in a godly manner, and I know this is one way God will teach me... Just give me strength! Thank God for today's morning prayer =)

Still, I can't wait to go home. I'm sick of the city and how it's wearing me out. I want to be loved and be taken care of. I want to be in the comforts of my own home and know that I can just... relax and not always have to give and be there for others. It's a selfish desire.... but I just want someone to reach out to me too, and I know my mom is always there for me. I'm so thankful for my mom.... I have really come to appreciate her so much these past couple of months. 

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