Friday, March 28, 2008

Where's the child in us?

I was walking, actually scratch that, I was rushing out of the subway at Grand Central today so that I wouldn't be late to work when I realized that literally everyone who was on the 6 train with me was practically running out as well. We were all heading towards the same destination: our work place. It amazed me that we could seem so uniform when our culture advocates individualism. It's kinda sad really when you just step out of your mindset for a second, just one second mind you for those who are time-bent on making it to work on time, and you really just see a mass of people heading blankly towards the same ol' same ol'. A daily routine that they never seem to escape and now don't even question. Should life really be about that? Should our lives revolve around work?

As we grow up, I am more and more acutely aware of how work becomes the center of our lives instead of our own personal agenda. We forget to have fun, add a little spice into our lives. You think I lie? Just look at us already. Even as students, we are already hell bent on getting good grades, being better than the person next to us, getting ahead in our internships and jobs. We always find the need to study or do work; there's no more time for friends. We have to fit them into our schedule. What's up with that?!

Aren't people more important? As kids, didn't we always want to hang out with our friends first before we did homework? Didn't we whine and groan when our moms would make us do homework first before we got to go out? Now we seem to whine and groan about work, YET we still make it our priority. When did our personal penchant switch from friends to work?

Obviously I'm not saying, drop your work and go for friends. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just pointing out certain ironies in life, and maybe suggesting that, we just recognize our ways. I mean, in high school we managed to balance it all: friends, homework, sports. So what makes college different?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Human Psyche

A new blog to start a fresh new outlook on life. That's the best way to start anew. This blog will be for my thoughts, meditations, cravings, and ventings about my life as well as a place to post pictures, videos, and recipes for my pleasure.


As I sit here, sprawled on my couch, watching my episode recaps of "Lipstick Jungle" online, I can't help but wonder, why do people always want everything but are never willing to offer anything? In other words, why do we tend to expect things from other people that we in turn do not willingly offer?

I am so aware of my faults nowadays, and I realize that I am quite emotionally demanding. I desire and demand a lot of attention from my friends, but I barely give any to others, except the exceptional few whom I truly depend on. And I expect them to want me in their lives. Whoo, this sounds so bad especially when you type it out like this. I'm guilty of this, but I certainly am not the only one, right?

It's like, I want the best of both worlds. I want to feel needed by others, yet I don't want to need others. I like others to be vulnerable to me, but I don't want to be vulnerable. And in college, it's especially difficult to be vulnerable with one another because no one does the old school playdates anymore. No more special time to hang out with your friend. In essence, I think the whole "we can see our friends whenever we want now" mentality that we got in college actually backfired on us because now we do the opposite. Because we can see our friends whenever we want, we don't. It's only when we are restricted that we actually try to seek them out. The human psyche can be so weird...