Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Human Psyche

A new blog to start a fresh new outlook on life. That's the best way to start anew. This blog will be for my thoughts, meditations, cravings, and ventings about my life as well as a place to post pictures, videos, and recipes for my pleasure.

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As I sit here, sprawled on my couch, watching my episode recaps of "Lipstick Jungle" online, I can't help but wonder, why do people always want everything but are never willing to offer anything? In other words, why do we tend to expect things from other people that we in turn do not willingly offer?

I am so aware of my faults nowadays, and I realize that I am quite emotionally demanding. I desire and demand a lot of attention from my friends, but I barely give any to others, except the exceptional few whom I truly depend on. And I expect them to want me in their lives. Whoo, this sounds so bad especially when you type it out like this. I'm guilty of this, but I certainly am not the only one, right?

It's like, I want the best of both worlds. I want to feel needed by others, yet I don't want to need others. I like others to be vulnerable to me, but I don't want to be vulnerable. And in college, it's especially difficult to be vulnerable with one another because no one does the old school playdates anymore. No more special time to hang out with your friend. In essence, I think the whole "we can see our friends whenever we want now" mentality that we got in college actually backfired on us because now we do the opposite. Because we can see our friends whenever we want, we don't. It's only when we are restricted that we actually try to seek them out. The human psyche can be so weird...

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