Psalm 61

Hear my cry, O God.
Listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth, I cry to you,
I cry as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
the strong tower against the foe.

I'm through

Simple as that.



I'm in a weird mood.

I really understand now that only God is steadfast in everything.
Humans are so fickle.

Personal Style

I love just watching people. I know that sounds creepy, but I mean it in the non-creepiest way possible.

I don't get to do this so much now, but I used to just love sitting in coffee shops with my mom and watch people pass by. I love to just imagine what they might be thinking about, and create all these crazy stories about their lives. It was really quite entertaining hahaha.

More than anything though, nowadays I love to look at what people wear and see how they inject their own personalities and flairs into their clothes. It's really interesting how so many trends can be in style, and see how people use these trends to build their own personal styles. Sometimes, I see someone wearing this crazy outfit, and I'm like wow, I would never be able to wear that. Or, I think what that person is wearing is silly. But seriously, come on, who am I to say that? What a person wears is usually a good key to his identity. I'm sure some poeple think what I wear is ridic, and maybe so haha. WHATEVER! I wear what I wanna wear. And I dress so that I'm comfortable, not to please~

I love the simplicity of this outfit. The fact that it seems effortless to put together makes the outfit 10x better. I'm not a huge fan of tight clothing, so I'm really digging the looseness of the shirt and the baggy pants. The slight droopiness of the pants definitely adds a more casual feel to the normal menswear business pants. And of course, who can go wrong with white on black? So simple and chic~
I'm not really sure if I could ever pull this outfit off, but I really like it for some reason. Even though the outfit seems really complicated with the plaid over the fur vest, I personally think it still works because the black belt around the fur vest ties in the whole black theme from the undershirt, leggings, booties, and bag. I really want a fur vest. I'm honestly not an animal killer but I just want a faux fur jacket or something haha.
I LOVE this outfit. I love outfits that just come together naturally without it looking like you tried so hard. She's just wearing denim shorts and a simple tee shirt, but adding the white fur vest just brings the outfit to a whole new level. Plus, the black ankle boots make the outfit seem less casual than it originally would be. AND I like how she stands out in a sea of black. I love standing out~
I think you can really start to get a feel of what I like after seeing these pictures. I love to layer, so of course I am immediately drawn to this outfit as well. The whole "baggy, just throw on what you have" concept just really appeals to me. Probably because I'm lazy. But I love how her graphic long teeshirt over her shiny spandex leggings and throwing on a long black cardigan just really work together. And those boots! Man, those boots add a definite statment about her. It's like a "I'm a tough chick" kind of message~

I love fashion in the sense of seeing how people work with it. I'm not really good at like seeing what the next trends are or anything like that, but I am growing to love more and more just eclectic and personal style!

(Images all from The Sartorialist)

Why am I such a

MARTHA??????????????

Lord, let my heart enjoy what You provide, to let go of logistics and let your holy spirit take over.
My desires and intentions are genuine, and I long to be with You.

May my faith be put into action.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
-Psalm 51:10

squeeeeal

Okay, it's official. I'm obsessed with blogging and reading blogs. I think I waste all my time on this and not spend enough time on my school work -____-;;

BUT.......... guess what I found out?!

Shake Shack opened its 2nd location in the Upper West Side!!! Right across the American Museum of Natural History and a block from Central Park.


You do know what this means now... I gotta check out the atmosphere of this place and eat another yummy Shack burger~

AND, even more exciting news!

Guests will have the choice of eating inside all year round - either in the glass-enclosed sidewalk cafe (which seats 34) or in the Shack's "Rec Room" (which seats 38), located on the lower level - or they are welcome to take away their Shack fare to enjoy on nearby park benches.

No more eating in the cold!!!

(Ref: http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/10/photos-pictures-shake-shack-uws-manhattan-nyc.html)

beauty for ashes

I am so

tired

of life, friends, myself




God, comfort my soul.

Broken-hearted

It's so interesting to see how God can really humble you.

I think for the past couple of weeks I said I was being so blessed but a lot of the times, I was moreso going through the routine of being a Christian rather than questioning my actions and thoughts to God. Why am I doing this? Am I glorifying God by doing this or that? I became so used to going to morning prayer, gethsemane, and church that I just did them out of habit instead of doing them with a willing heart. I slacked off with QT and felt like my time with God was more of a burden than a blessing time. Daunted over my long list of prayer topics, I didn't even bother to tackle them.... or tried to do so with a half-willing heart. Over all, I became satisfied with my current life and didn't bother to continue to seek after God's face. 

Even when I praised and worshipped God, I knew it wasn't my all, and I got easily distracted by the things around me. I fell asleep during gethsemane prayer time. I wasn't moved at all by the messages or praise. I became quickly tired of my environment and just felt overwhelmed by all the responsibilities I held. 

Tired, dejected, and weak, I came before God once again and confessed just how I felt. I knew I couldn't handle everything, but that's what I realized I was doing. I was trying to use my own strength to do everything, starting from morning prayer to small group time. No wonder I felt like I was so unprepared for everything! I didn't build my own foundation on God first. I was focusing on all the things I had to do, and I have such a huge heart for my small group girls and freshmen that I just wanted to do everything for them and be the best. Well I can't be the best without God~ Not spending time with God also meant I wasn't spending enough time for myself. I became like such a Martha instead of being like a Mary. 

Enjoy God, live for God, and then He will use you for His mighty purpose. How can God use you when you don't first build your foundation in Him? 

I literally felt like I was going to fall onto my knees today during praise; that's how weak and tired I felt. He really just touched me so much during praise, to the point of tears. Sigh~ God is so wonderfully good. My heart becomes even greater as I trust in God, and it grows for the freshmen. I really really pray that they will come to delight and rejoice in the Lord, and that their identities may be found in Him. God is so good and faithful =)

SELF-CONTROL

Apparently, I have none.

HELP ME STOP LATE-NIGHT MUNCHING!!!!!

What do you guys do at night when all you want to do is munch on something?

Inadeqate

I had my first bible study small group today. I realize so much more how much I need to rely on God to use me to lead effectively. More prayer and preparation! Definitely did not do enough of either... I am humbled -_-

Despite my inadequacies, may God use me just as He used Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt~ 

OH yeah, and I had lunch with Timmy Bangu but I must say, it was definitely encouraging to see someone text me and take initiative to chill with me! I swear I'm cool 0_0 BUT yeah, it was a blessing to share how God is working in our lives~

Another junior fellowship is necessary.... biking anyone??? 

Butter Lane!!!

Check out Butter Lane cupcakes!!! This is where I'm going to work starting November~ I'm soooo excited!! =)

It's located on E. 7th St. between Ave A and 1st Ave. 

Butter Lane cupcakes

What are your "onlys"?

Man, God is so powerful. I was listening to one of Pastor Jacob's sermons while I was running, and seriously, I am convicted once again by the Holy Spirit. Just from Geth this past Friday, God has really revealed to me just how selfish I was this whole week, in terms of my rationalization and thinking. I think too much about myself and my own happiness, and not about others'... And I did not nearly take enough time thinking and praying over my soonwons. The whole time this past week when I was thinking about myself, I could've spent that time and energy praying for my soonwons. Man is so selfish... we naturally resort back to our own sinful ways of thinking about only ourselves -__-

"What are your 'onlys'?" Pastor Jacob asks in his sermon, "The Test of Faith." According to Pastor Jacob, we always tell ourselves, "If we only have this, then we'll be happy," and that is SO true. I'm always saying to myself, once I get this, then I will be satisfied. NOPE. We are sinful beings, and we'll never be satisfied fully by the things of this world. Only God can give us that ultimate satisfaction.

Too often, my "onlys" become the idols of my life; they replace God from the center of my heart. My discipline in pursuing God, I admit, has been more lax since last week, and now I am convicted once again to become firm in His word once again. God is so powerful and faithful to His promises and callings. I looked at my mission journals this morning, and it's so evident and clear how God has transformed my heart. It's really crazy how He matured me so much, and I have yet to grow. It's a never-ending relationship with God =)

By faith, I will persevere. By faith, I will follow. By faith, I need to drop all my own plans and trust in His.

Grand opening of Magnolia Bakery on 49th!

Wow, can this be?! Magnolia Bakery is opening another location on 49th and 6th!

This is awesome because now I don't have to trek all the way to the West Village anymore. I have never been a sweets person, but living with my sweets-loving roommates has made me become more aware of the realm of desserts. I want to try the famous banana pudding at Magnolia Bakery!!!

Over the past two weeks, I have checked out cupcakes and other desserts at some stores. I visited Eleni's over at Chelsea Market on 9th Ave between 15th and 16th after my interview with Tod's for a PR internship. I loveee that area; the neighborhood is so crisp and fresh compared to the bustling and hustling nature of the inner city because it's closer to the Henry Hudson River. I love New York because of its multiple districts with such different atmospheres! Anyways, it was my first time at Chelsea Market, and it is the most adorable place ever! If only I lived closer around there because then I'd go there to shop for groceries and bread. Oh my goshhh, I'd just go for Amy's Bread alone. That bakery makes THE best bread everrrr. Wow.

Eleni's is good at catching the customer's attention thanks to its interior design. The layout is really sleek and simple with its white-washed walls and neatly laid out cupcakes on silver cupcake plates. The store really emphasizes its cupcakes as the main centerpiece for its interior design so naturally as soon as you walk in, you notice that first. Eleni's has a huge variety of cupcakes from the classics to specials like the peanut buttercup cupcake with chocolate buttercream icing. I bought two cupcakes: red velvet cupcake with vanilla buttercream frosting and the peanut buttercup one of course. The cupcake's interior were moist and dense, providing ample taste from the vanilla flavoring of the yellow cake. The buttercream frosting, however, was the key point of Eleni's cupcakes. It was so rich in flavor but smooth at the same time. The frosting didn't feel too heavy at all but complemented well with the moist yellow cake.

I also checked out Macaron Cafe, thanks to the hearty recommendation from my roommate Grace =) I passed by it a couple times, but never actually went inside because it was always busy and I never craved anything sweet at that time. Located on W. 36th Street, this cafe specializes in selling the French dessert macaron. A macaron is a traditional French pastry made of buttercream frosting sandwiched between two layers of light, yet dense meringue-like cake. These French pastries were heavily advertised in Sofia Coppola's 2006 film Marie Antoinette.

I tried the rose-lychee macaron and it was such a remarkable tiny treat. The texture of the macaron was so interesting. It was light, yet when I bit into the meringue-like bread, it didn't crumble and fall apart, but stuck together. The cake was slightly dense and chewy, not at all what I expected, but it was a delightful surprise. The chewy texture along with the smooth buttery taste of actual rose and a tint of lychee made the dessert quite delicious. I definitely recommend everyone to check this place out.

And finally, I visited Billy's Bakery, another popular cupcake shop in the Chelsea district between 21st and 22nd on 9th Ave, last night. As soon as I entered the bakery, I was greeted with a blast of warm air and a yummy aroma of baked goods. I couldn't wait to check out the cupcakes and buy some! The bakery is small but in a good way; it makes the place feel a lot cozier. The interior design of the place reminds you of a home with its pale-yellow walls and pale green lining, and it gives off the impression of being really comforting. Billy's Bakery's cupcakes are enclosed in a glass case displayed by the side of the counter with a huge array of cakes and cookies on top. I was first surprised because I didn't see a huge range of cupcakes but I soon found out the specialty cupcakes are out in the back. Cute and neat, the cupcakes are all simple with enough frosting that also follow through with the scheme of the homey environment; they are covered in buttercream frostings in a light color-scheme palette. The only thing I didn't like about the bakery is that the cupcakes are on the pricier range; I bought three cupcakes and that cost me ten bucks! Still, with the cost comes also the satisfaction, so I guess I can say it's all worth it!

(ref: http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/)

About me

I am too sensitive to people's feelings and their reactions/responses toward me. I realize that I often put other people's emotions before mine, so I lose my own boundaries in that way... I still try to subconsciously gain favor in people's eyes instead of God's favor. I was reading Nehemiah the other day, and I realized that a good leader does what is right, what God desires, even if it means losing the favor of his congregation because he knows in the end, that is what is right for them. I need to learn to see the bigger picture! 

SHOW ME THE WAYYYYYY

Being vegan is no fun? I think not!

This entry is dedicated to my soonwon Christine Kim =) Thanks to her, I was able to check out Candle Cafe, a vegan restaurant, and discover the joys of eating food even without meat! 

For the most part, you don't meet that many Koreans who declare themselves to be vegetarian, so you may understand my surprise when I first met Christine and found out that she is vegan! Not vegetarian even, but vegan. I was really intrigued because Koreans tend to stick to traditional Korean cuisine and not follow "Western" eating habits. I remember I asked loads of questions that first Sunday I met her, and I'm sure you felt like you were being interrogated Christine haha! Sorry, I was just really curious. 

And I still am. Veganism is a diet and lifestyle of not eating anything of animal-product. That means no eggs, milk, meat... the whole shebang. It's a pretty strict diet, but if done properly, it can be quite beneficial to one's health. You just have to make sure that you meet all your nutritional needs somehow; for example, make sure you still get protein by consuming lots of legumes and/or nuts. 

Being a vegan is expensive and time-consuming. According to Christine, you need to go grocery shopping frequently since produce rots rather quickly, and you always need to prepare your meals since you can't just do a quick grab and go meal like most other people. You need to buy lots of ingredients to make meals and baked goods and find substitutes for milk, eggs, etc. Still, if one is commited and diligent, veganism is healthful and satisfies one's nutritional needs. 

So, Christine took Grace, Monica, and me to Candle Cafe this past Sunday. Although I tried a vegetarian restaurant before, this was my first time at a vegan cafe! Contrary to many people's beliefs, vegans do not just eat lettuce and vegetables. You can make a whole assortment of dishes without using meat or any dairy-products. Maybe it's easier being vegan/vegetarian for girls, but I can see myself going without meat if I wanted to. 

We went to Candle Cafe at a random time, but it was still pretty packed, which was very surprising. People seem to flock to this restaurant and really enjoy its food. Grace, Monica, and I all ordered the tofu club, comprised of grilled tofu, tempeh bacon, lettuce, and tomato served alongside with coleslaw, pickles, and vegan mayonnaise. Christine ordered the cajun seitan sandwich, which is pan-seared seitan, avocado, greens, and caramelized onions. 

I've been having this crazy obsession with tofu these days so I was looking forward to eating my tofu club. I was delighted to discover that the tofu in the sandwich was soft but still firm at the surface so that it provided a perfect medium as a "meat" substitute. It was my first time trying tempeh, but I was pleased to find a smoky flavor depart from the tempeh. So, when I ate the tofu with the tempeh, it gave off that smoky, meaty texture. And the tomato and lettuce helped contribute a fresh crisp-ness to the whole sandwich. My favorite part of the tofu club was the bread; it was perfectly toasted and provided that perfect crunch factor into the sandwich. Plus, the bread was nutty to the taste. I had to know what kind of bread and where it was from, so we asked our waiter Thad, and he said it was seven whole grain from Amy's Bread! No wonder it was soo good! Amy's Bread has the best bread ever! I definitely have to buy this bread again. 

After eating our meals, Christine and Grace shared a vegan dessert with soy ice cream. I had a bite, and it was such an interesting texture for a cake! It was more dense and moist than a normal cake, and not quite as sweet. So, overall, it didn't feel as heavy as a regular cake. Quite yummy =) 

Overall, my tofu club was a new and delectable experience, and I wouldn't mind trying out other vegan/vegetarian food!

Hide me now, Under Your wings

Again, with the whole boundaries issues-- not even just about being too nice and people taking advantage of that, but about simple respect too. I feel like there's no respect being given to me when I see the way people act towards me sometimes. I'm starting to develop this... bitterness... well not bitterness, but like, begrudging heart, instead of one that is loving and giving. When people respect my boundaries, I feel more free to do everything, but not when they're being ignored... Geez. 

It's hard to really let go and let God, but in a way, I think this struggle is also a blessing because we all know that suffering allows you to grow. I need to learn to be a more cheerful giver and to not take so much ownership of my possessions. I need to learn to confront and discuss things in a godly manner, and I know this is one way God will teach me... Just give me strength! Thank God for today's morning prayer =)

Still, I can't wait to go home. I'm sick of the city and how it's wearing me out. I want to be loved and be taken care of. I want to be in the comforts of my own home and know that I can just... relax and not always have to give and be there for others. It's a selfish desire.... but I just want someone to reach out to me too, and I know my mom is always there for me. I'm so thankful for my mom.... I have really come to appreciate her so much these past couple of months. 

I'm tired and losing focus...

Yet I know that my God exists and He always hears our cries. After my QT today, I was reading some psalms because to me, the book of Psalms seems so real and geunine, and I love how we can totally see how joyous David is or how much he's suffering. Everything's out in the open, and it encourages me to persevere and move forward like David did. Psalms 42 today really hit me hard. In this psalms, David knows that God is the living God and he is searching for Him. He knows that God is good, but wonders why he still feels so forlorn. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God" (v. 11). Even though David feels so downcast, he still praises God. And that is what I will also do...

On another note, my next entry will be about Candle Cafe, an upper-midtown vegetarian cafe, introduced to me by my lovely soonwon Christine Kim! =) Kudos to her for picking out such a nice place and taking us to eat good food! Thank you! 

Candle Cafe Vegetarian Cuisine

thank You

Merci beaucoup.

Gracias.

Arigato gozaimasu.

감사합니다.

Vielen Dank.