SO TRUE

I think prayer is so amazing because it's an indirect way to help people.

-Josephine Koh

Happy thanksgiving!!

What am I thankful for?

This year, I'm thankful for....

-my mom because she is so good to me. She always gives with her whole heart and wants the best for me. She encourages me and gives me strength to move forward. She babies me, comforts me, provides for me. She loves me unconditionally.

-my dad because he is always working hard to provide for my family. He works even when he probably doesn't want to work. He works to make sure I get what I need. He loves me and deserves the best. 

-my small group girls because they are active in coming out. They are so good-hearted and willing and none of them give me a hard time just because. I fail so many times in praying enough for them, but still, they show me love. For that, I am grateful.

-the people who reach out to me because they are relentless. Haha, just kidding, but even though I may be aloof sometimes, they still always talk to me and want to get to know me. They are always there to listen even when I may not always turn to them specifically. 

-my roommates because they take me as I am, faults and all. Thank you.... you have no idea.

-my dog Hammie because she always greets me with a happy face and wants to be loved by me. 

Presenting... the thanksgiving meal!! We had sooo much food. Our menu was honey-glazed smoked ham, roast beef with roasted vegetables, oven-roasted turkey, four-cheese baked macaroni and cheese, mashed potato with gravy, cranberry sauce, honey-baked acorn squash, corn, oven-hot cornbread, cheesy broccoli, and a garden salad~ Food overload right? Preparing the feast was so much fun :D

My four-cheese mac&cheese is almost gone! And mhmmm, that delicious roast beef... just look at that color heehee :D

There is the turkey fresh out of the oven!! The honey-baked acorn squash is on the side~ It was so good with the moist turkey breast. I highly recommend acorn squash if you want to eat something hearty and delicious AND low in calories!

My macaroni and cheeeese, yum yum

Here is my plate full of food! 

the perks of being a wallflower... not really

I'm going crazy over the thoughts in my head. It's like a whirl of negativity swirling and swirling and swirling around my head. I feel like I am falling deeper and deeper into this never-ending hole, sucked into the black hole where only sadness and depression and hurt linger. 

Why... why am I forced to live my life based on my emotions? Why do I let my emotions control ME? I'm so aware--too aware--- of people's reactions toward me. I crave to feel wanted. I am needy.I need to feel wanted at every moment. If I don't, I crash. I feel like no one cares. 

But that's a total lie. I know it in my head, but how does Satan know exactly how to deceive me.... to think otherwise? People do care about me. I just push people away. 

I'm full of faults. I see so many of them. They're almost ALL I see, and I get discouraged. Always comparing, always seeing what I lack. Always searching for something better and not being grateful for the things that I have. 

And you know what's sad? I know GOD is my father, the Father. I know He is a God who will never stop doing good to me and who will daily bear my burdens. I know He loves me so so much and will probably be the only one who can full satisfy and meet all my needs. Still... still... as of now, I am a hopeless case. 

How did I get to be so melancholy? 

blackjack

Everyone is turning 21 these days. It's so weird. Why are we all growing up!??!? @.@

At the same time though, it's pretty exciting, and it's cool to see how we blend in with the twenty's crowd now. We don't look like we're out of place in trendy restaurants or anything~ 

Anyways, this time, we celebrated Monica's 21st birthday dinner at Aquagrill! 

Part of the crowd with the birthday girl =)

 The birthday girl looking all pretty and coquettish~!

Some awesome people in my life :D

Food that people ordered:

This is the truffle-crusted cod with mushroom ravioli. I had a bite of this, and it was soooo good. The fish meat was buttery and full of flavor~

Kat ordered the bouillabaisse hahaha. Even though it was soup, it was good nonetheless! The soup was rich and flavorful. REALLY flavorful.

And this was my deliciousss seared sea scallops with creamy lobster meat risotto and string beans. So succulent, SO rich, SO YUMMY!

"What's good here?"

.... is a question I get a lot at Butter Lane. I always recommend the banana with cream cheese cupcake. It is so SO yummy. I can't even describe how good it is. It's almost more like a muffin. The banana bread is naturally so sweet and moist, and the cream cheese frosting perfectly adds an extra kick to the already decadent bread. YUMMY!! 

So, working at Butter Lane has been a lot of fun so far. Time passes by relatively quickly. The shop is warm, smells AMAZING, and feels really homey. Can't complain yo. 

I spend most of my time frosting those damn good cupcakes. I think I taste so many types of frosting like key lime, blueberry, and coconut, just to name a few. And I also get to eat some ugly cupcakes that aren't worthy of being sold... I'm sooooo gonna get chunky from this job lol :(

Pictures taken from my phone! 

The interior of Butter Lane

The display of cupcakes

1950s

Is it weird that I really want to be a wife and mom?



I want to be able to carry the elegance and esteem that so many of the 1950s' women carried while being an awesome wife and mom too. I live in a world of romance sigh~ I have yet to gain that aura of confidence and glamour.

I love to take care of people and cook and clean. I don't think it's demeaning at all; being a mom and wife is probably one of the hardest things ever.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I definitely want to finish my degree and become a registered dietician and even more, but I want that as a side job. I don't know... I'm so a 1950s girl, not the independent, strong-willed, career-first woman that's so typical nowadays~