Why... why am I forced to live my life based on my emotions? Why do I let my emotions control ME? I'm so aware--too aware--- of people's reactions toward me. I crave to feel wanted. I am needy.I need to feel wanted at every moment. If I don't, I crash. I feel like no one cares.
But that's a total lie. I know it in my head, but how does Satan know exactly how to deceive me.... to think otherwise? People do care about me. I just push people away.
I'm full of faults. I see so many of them. They're almost ALL I see, and I get discouraged. Always comparing, always seeing what I lack. Always searching for something better and not being grateful for the things that I have.
And you know what's sad? I know GOD is my father, the Father. I know He is a God who will never stop doing good to me and who will daily bear my burdens. I know He loves me so so much and will probably be the only one who can full satisfy and meet all my needs. Still... still... as of now, I am a hopeless case.
How did I get to be so melancholy?
2 comments:
as my blog entry from the 16th says, satan is a big fat liar. liar liar, pants on fire.
chin up, hyemyung.
(btw i changed my page name to yugutjugut.blogspot.com, so the old link to joesjibberjabber doesnt work, just a heads up)
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